Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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