i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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