So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
