I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
