Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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