I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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