Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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