Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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