The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
