They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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