DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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