would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
