He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
