i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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