btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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