I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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