you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
