Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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