I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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