You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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