After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
