I seem to have left my pride at pride
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
