I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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