I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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