remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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