i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
