I got chris browned last night
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
