i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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