i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
