Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
