I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
