Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
