We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
