He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
