guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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