If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
