I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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