I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
