Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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