Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize