no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
