i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
