he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
