New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
