Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
