Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
