Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
