Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
