ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
