I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
