You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
