jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize