My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
