where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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