Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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