I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
