whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
