Please, let me fuck your mom
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I deserve this hangover.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize