mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
