I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize