Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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