JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
